i just remembered
that at some point during debauchery fest 2k11 i.e. last friday
anders said “i’d be like the mameshiba of sex! all popping up in the middle like DID YOU KNOW”
and it was
the funniest thing i have ever heard
on pornsite subscriptions
Anders: how do you use the phrase "all-you-can-eat pussy buffet"
Anders: and not die of laughter
Anders: like
Anders: i am not checking into the hotel cunnilingus for the night, website
Anders: and even if i was?
Anders: i would rather have a nice continental breakfast like all the other hotels
Anders: besides, vaginas are like sushi! if you're going to go eat out (as it were) you really don't want all-you-can-eat!
Anders: you want a smaller, controlled portion you paid good money for, perhaps surrounded by a crust of incredibly shitty rapidly deteriorating metaphor like this one
Anders: sara i forget are you on my side in the battle against john denver or not
Anders: because rn i am experiencing my annual bout of contempt for the john denver and the muppets album
Sara: ugh.
Sara: the worst tbh.
Anders: thank you
Anders: HE ONLY STILL EXISTS BECAUSE CATHOLICS
Anders: THEY BELIEVE IN HIM
Anders: HE'S LIKE A FAIRY
Anders: THEY ALL CLAP THEIR CATHOLIC HANDS
Anders: AND REPEAT "I DO BELIEVE IN JOHN DENVER, I DO I DO!"
Anders: AND AS A RESULT /HE WILL NEVER LEAVE/
anders: things that i wonder late at night: why haven’t skinheads used flowers as an analogy for the natural dominance of same-race marriage?
anders: because like if you crossbreed flowers it fucks their shit up
anders: but i guess flowers are just too fucking badass for skinheads
sara: <>
anders: <>
anders: to da MAX
anders: da MOIRAIL MAX
sara: that was kind of 90s
anders: i am kind of 90s
lizards tbh
anders: GIVE ME YOUR TIRED, YOUR HUNGRY, YOUR POOR
anders: YOUR HUDDLED MASSES
anders: AND I WILL GIVE YOU GIFT BASKETS
anders: FULL OF LIZARDS
anders: i need to open a business advising people on naming their sex toys
anders: people get money for doing that with pets right
anders: and babies
anders: why not sex toys?
anders: they're
anders: like pets
anders: just gloriously less high-maintanance and much more high-yielding investments
anders: DON'T GET A DOG, GET A VIBRATOR
anders: THAT IS MY ADVICE
anders: GET A VIBRATOR AND I WILL HELP YOU NAME IT FOR FIVE BUCKS AND A PIECE OF COLD PIZZA FROM YOUR FRIDGE
anders: sara everything is psychonauts and wakfu
anders: all i have to do now is watch medabots and i think i can silently just be zero
anders: just keysmash a lot and mention canada sometimes
anders: i think i can do this
Anders: SARA YOU NEED TO STOP HOARDING THE GIRLFRIENDS JESUS
Anders: DIDN'T YOU LEARN IN PRESCHOOL THAT SHARING IS CARING
Anders: WE ARE STILL IN A DROUGHT WHICH MEANS THERE IS NOT ENOUGH WATER TO GO AROUND
Anders: SO IF YOU START HAVING ALL OF THE GIRLFRIENDS
Anders: YOU WILL TAKE THEM PLACES AND USE UP ALL THE WATER
Anders: AND THEN WE WILL ALL DIE
Anders: AND SO WILL THE FISH
Anders: WHAT THEN, SARA?
Anders: WE WILL BE DEAD
Anders: AND SO WILL ALL OF THE FISH
Anders: AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT
Anders: AND I MEAN GOD FORBID YOU START COLLECTING MERMAID GIRLFRIENDS THEN WE ARE ALL FUCKED
Anders: AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE TREES IF YOU START BEDDING DRYADS
Anders: THERE WILL BE NO MORE FORESTS
Anders: AND THAT WILL USE UP MORE WATER ANYWAY
Anders: BECAUSE TREES NEED WATER
Anders: YOU AND YOUR POTENTIAL MAGICAL GIRLFRIENDS ARE GOING TO KILL EVERYONE
